Relationships - Letting Go
Family & Relationships Conflict

Relationships - Letting Go

At some point in the breakup experience, we get real angry.
Call it pissed off, ticked off or burned bad -- it's a powerful emotion.
We are indignant at the way we've been treated and, at this stage of a breakup, we can't see our part in it at all.
We are entrenched in the blame game.
It is likely we will verbalize every expletive we have ever heard in heated conversations (or shouting matches) with our loved one.
In an effort to justify our anger, we are happy to provide examples of their wrong doing for his or her reminiscing pleasure.
As you can imagine, dredging up the past like this is not well received.
There may be occasions when we demonstrate our angry feelings by throwing things, breaking -- or otherwise destroying objects belonging to our ex-to-be.
We might show him or show her by storming off in our vehicle, tires squealing dramatically.
Our angst is so great we forget there is a high road we might have taken instead.
This searing anger can't be sustained for very long or it will implode.
We have now reached the next phase in the journey of letting go of a relationship: attack.
We find ourselves comfortably stuck in a foxhole, intent on fighting a war we can't win.
It isn't uncommon to gather the troops (family, friends and associates) to attempt to sway them to take our side in the breakup.
We fire off email blasts to our mutual friends, or slander him or her in our blog.
If only we could step outside of ourselves to see the futility of this strategy.
Anyone with experience in the game of love knows to stay out of this kind of no-win situation.
After all, what if the couple finds a way to get past all this animosity and reunites? Then, you are the one left out in the cold.
Much better to remain neutral or take a very long vacation until your friend, sister, brother, cousin (or whomever) moves past this stage in the breakup.
Thankfully the time arrives when we find acceptance.
This is where the healing takes place-- for both of you.
Rational thinking prevails and you know, once you are completely honest with yourself, that it wasn't all his (or her) fault.
Relationships take a lot of hard work to succeed.
You both could have contributed more.
Allowances of this kind open the door to a more realistic evaluation of the high and low points you shared as a couple.
Letting go of a relationship becomes a little easier once you reach this stage.

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