Family & Relationships Gay Lesbian & Bisexual & Transgender

Alternatives to Anal Sex

When it comes to same sex sex practices, a lot of folks have a pretty limited idea of what goes on between the sheets. Many people assume that all gay guys have anal sex. And while plenty of gay guys enjoy anal, a whole lot of others don't!

There are plenty of reasons that some gay guys just aren't into anal. For example, for some men it might not be their personal preference. Others might be concerned about safety.

This sex act can also seem very intimate. And there are those who find it physically uncomfortable.

So is there anything a gay guy who isn't into this one sex can do if he wants to be sexually active? Sure.

Oral Sex

Oral sex on a penis, is called fellatio or a blow job. Oral sex is a lower risk activity for HIV transmission than is vaginal or anal sex (but it is a higher risk than cunnilingus). Oral sex on a penis also puts you at risk for infections like herpes and gonorrhea. The best way to reduce your risk is to use a condom. If you aren't using condom for oral sex, avoid taking a partner's body fluids into your mouth.

Oral / Anal Contact

Oral / anal contact is called analingus, or rimming and it is a sex act some people enjoy. Analingus isn't generally a risk for HIV. However, it can expose you to a number of parasites and can put you at risk for hepatitis. You can use a dental dam over the anus to help reduce your risk.

Mutual Masturbation

Mutual masturbation is also know as manual stimulation or a hand job.

 Mutual masturbation refers to sexually touching someone's penis by hand. This form of sex play is usually considered one of the least risky forms of sex play. But in rare cases, it could be possible to transmit an infection through mutual masturbation. This could happen if you touched your own genitals and then touched your partner's genitals. To be extra safe, some guys choose to wear a condom when getting a hand job.

Non-Genital Sex Play

Many guys enjoy non-genital sex play. This can include body rubbing, role play or the use of sex toys (though in many places is actually illegal for people under 18 to buy sex toys).

Just as with any group of people, there is a huge range of sexual activity that gay men participate in, including being celibate and not having sex at all.

Of course if you do decide to try anal sex at some point, there are a few things to keep in mind:
  1. Never do anything that you are not comfortable with! If you are feeling pressured into any type of sexual situation, your body is more likely to be tense. This can lead to discomfort.
  2. Don't begin sex play begin by inserting something into the anus. Try some other types of foreplay first.
  3. Make sure to use plenty of artificial lubricant. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce sufficient lube for sex play, and in this case, wetter is better. 
  4. Go slow! Wait for the body to relax before continuing. Never force a penis or other object into the anus.
  5. Don't be afraid to speak up. If something is uncomfortable or hurts, tell your partner and hold off on anal play until what you are doing feels better.

There is no one way to have sex. Mutual masturbation is just as "normal" as is anal sex. But whatever tye of sex play you do or don't engage in, being safe is super important, and if you do have anal sex, it is always a really good idea to practice safer sex by using a condom.

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