Health & Medical Self-Improvement

Family and Finances: How to Deal Effectively with Both - FamilyVision Column

The Smith family is your typical middle class family.
Jan and Robert Smith have two kids, JoAnn and Ray.
Jan loves her family dearly because she was raised in a big family of 12.
Jan isthe oldest.
Jan's siblings are relatively close knit.
Each visits each other.
Jan's extended family has a habit of borrowing money from each other.
Jan's parents have even found themselves borrowing money to prevent one of their children from jail.
Jan's parents are going to always found going from store to store to pick up hot checks for their children.
When Jan usually goes to her parents about this action, her mother only says, "Family helps family.
" Jan doesn't lend her money to her siblings unless it's an emergency.
She doesn't participate in the borrowing among her siblings.
The Smith Family has a solid financial foundation while Jan's parents and her siblings are in a financial nightmare.
Jan wonders if her brothers and sister will ever change?
The Panic Button Why are we so unhappy with all of our material wealth in America? We witness each day the destruction of families and the demise of the individual.
My sadness is fact that some of these problems are self-inflicted.
We found these interesting finance facts about our national past time--financial debt.
According to Bankrate.
com, some 1.
6 million American households filed for bankruptcy in 2003.
Average per household debt, excluding mortgage debt, is more than $14,500.
About 40 percent of households spend more than they make.
How can this be?It would appear that Americans are borrowing their way to happiness.
Society tells us.
According to one financial study, the average credit card debt is approximately $8,400.
You explain, "We can have it all even when we do not have cash to pay for it; therefore, we charge and hope that it disappears.
" It doesn't!Individuals need to be educated on personal finances.
I see people everyday doing crazy financial things such as (1) rental furniture, for an apartment instead of waiting, (2) getting money at a Check Cashier place which charges high, interest rates, (3) paying 24 percent interest on a credit card.
The Reality of Life Some people will never listen.
Is change out of the question?I see too many people counting other people's money into their budget.
What am I saying? Here is a common example.
Your friend is married and has children.
She drives a nice car and lives in a mansion.
However, she is constantly borrowing money from you for groceries.
She says she's short this week.
But, it's really the same story.
If you don't get her the money, she tries to make you feel guilty.
How will her children eat? Actually, it's a case where people don't want to be accountable for their financial decisions and blame others.
Sadly, this attitude is bad, but what is worse is the family and friends who justify their behavior by lending them money.
I hear it all the time--the many excuses.
He's just down on his luck.
No one cares about him, but me.
Family always helps family.
I've come to the conclusion that money can't fix everything.
You can't continue to live with the guilty.
Loaning your money away makes the lender more dependent and increases the chances that your finances will eventually suffer.
Here are some steps for resolution:
  • Discuss your borrow/lend policy for your family.
  • Never lend money and hide it from your mate.
    It's bound to stir up trouble.
  • Decide if you are really making a loan or just giving it away.
    If you give it away,
  • you won't need to worry about getting paid back.
  • Establish your rules upfront with compulsive borrowers so that they understand your position.
  • Give tough love to compulsive borrowers.
  • Don't let other people's crisis become your reality.
    Ask for more time for a decision.
Financial Peace Finally, keep it simple.
Money and family don't mix; however, you can avoid the drama when it comes to family and money.
Establish your position upfront about lending money to family and friends.
Keep to your guns, even when Cousin Jim calls your mother because you won't lend him a five bucks.
Don't allow individuals to trivialize how you handle money.
Most family member are jealous of you anyway if you have your finances in order.
Love your family.
Improve your relationship.
Remember, however, that money and family are a deadly combination.
Start Today.


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