Health & Medical Adolescent Health

Angry Child? Defiant Child? - Four Great Tips to Deal With Your Angry Child Or Defiant Child

If you are like many parents, you are absolutely at a loss for how to explain "where you went wrong" with respect to the relationship you have with your kids.
I know that before I had my son, I had certain ideas of how parenting was going to be.
I observed other parents struggling with discipline, ungrateful and disrespectful children and told myself that it would not happen to me.
I could see, or at least thought that I could see what mistakes they were making.
I really believed that I would be an excellent parent and would command the love and respect that I deserved! Needless to say, it didn't always work out that way.
My 8 year old was every bit as much handful as any kid I've seen.
My struggles were seemingly endless and my patience tried constantly.
After much searching and researching I came across some great tips to deal with an angry child or a defiant child:
  1. The hardest thing for me to learn was that my child wasn't the problem; I WAS THE PROBLEM! This may sound shocking to you who are reading this, but the truth of the matter is, if you want your child to change his behavior, then be prepared to change yours.
    If you yell and scream, you will raise a child who yells and screams.
    Remember, your child is learning his coping skills and his behavioral strategies from you!
  2. Positive reinforcement goes a lot further than does negative.
    When you see your child doing something you like, tell him that you like what he is doing and that it makes you very proud.
    Also, rather than say "Don't leave a mess in your room," try saying "Don't forget to pick up your room before breakfast.
    " Then tell your child how nice the room looks and thank him for doing such a great job.
  3. This one was huge in our house: learn to ignore tantrums and be prepared to just walk away.
    Your defiant child or angry child is used to getting a lot of attention this way and it completely disarms them.
    Eventually, your child will realize that tantrums don't work anymore.
  4. Above all, DO NOT match their screaming with loud tones of your own.
    It is very important to remain calm.
    Another hard one for me to learn but it really works.
    The calmer you remain, the quicker your child will calm down.
    This works on other adults too!

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