Health & Medical Adolescent Health

The Bully"s Seventh Excuse

I noticed that Mary and Amanda had been spending less time with each other.
 They used to be inseparable, but now they hardly even talk.
 My suspicions were justified when Mary approached me one day after class.
 Followed closely by Amanda, Mary was about to say something when Amanda interrupted.
 "She thought I was talking about her, but I wasn't.
" "Yes you were," Mary said, obviously hurting from the pain this incident had caused.
Relational bullying among girls is a huge problem.
 Manipulating friendships and spreading rumors are generally how girls bully each other.
 These ploys are used by girls for a number of reasons.
 First, relational bullying is extremely difficult to detect.
 If you don't know the signs to look for, it will be almost impossible to see.
 Also, girls use relational bullying because for them, emotional scars and isolation are more painful than physical abuse.
Relational bullying has an interesting component.
 Many times girls will spread rumors about someone they used to consider their friend, but not even know why they started the rumor in the first place.
 Additionally, two girls can be torn apart by rumors that were started by a third party.
  This is usually done by a girl who is jealous of the friendship the other two girls have begun to form.
A key factor to remember, relational bullying usually happens between girls who used to be friends.
 This is quite different than how boys bully.
 Boys will rarely bully their own friends.
 Girls on the other hand, will subject their best friend to emotional torture if the circumstances are right.
 Paying attention to the relationships the girls are forming is a good way to monitor a potential bullying situation.
 If you see a clique suddenly break apart and take different sides, this is a warning sign that something is going on.
  While on a school campus, phrases of bullies always gain my attention.
 How do I know the phrases bullies like to use? I was once a bully.
 So, if you want bullying to go away, I believe that everyone needs to be aware of the bully's excuses and create a plan to eliminate its power.


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